When my husband and I met, we were both working in retail part time. As we got more acquainted, we became best friends and spent most of our free time together. Over time, a friendship turned into dating and we realized that we were just right for each other. We knew there would be hurdles since we do live in the south and racism is far from gone.
While we are thankful that we didn't fall in love in the 50's, we've had our brushes with the big 'R'. It may be more covert these days, but you can still find it just about everywhere. As our relationship has grown, so has my knowledge of how much racism is still out there and how much improvement we still have to make as a society. Seven years and 3 babies later, I've learned a lot. I've decided to blog my life as a working mom, raising our kids to love and appreciate all people and to do the same for both of the cultures that they are blessed to be a part of.
We have 3 kiddos. Scarlett is my brainy 1st grader. She's very polite and well behaved, bossy too if she gets to know you. Jazmine is my little Taz. She's a ham, always running everywhere she goes. You'll get a workout if you spend any time with her. She's loving and doesn't meet a stranger. On to Nick, my little chunky prince. He's our last baby. He is my little sweetheart, just a cuddly, fluffy, wonderful baby. He has just started walking and it is so darn cute.
When Henry and I first got together, I was very aware of the stares and the dirty looks I got from those who disapprove of inter-racial dating. Believe it or not, no one in public has ever said anything to us. I'm sure we still get those looks, but I can honestly say I don't pay any attention to that. I have concerns about what will be said to the kids, some things already have been said which I'll talk about a little later. Nah, let's just go ahead and talk about it now. When Scarlett was in pre-k, she came home one day saying a little boy told her she was gray. I was a little confused at first until she said, "He told me black and white make gray. But I'm not gray, am I?" She wasn't at all upset, just curious. We used this as a teaching moment about what color she actually is and that she is beautiful. The next school experience was a bit tougher and had me wanting to go find this little boy. She was upset this time. She said, "James won't let me in his club. I really want to be in his club." I asked her why. "He only lets girls with blond hair and blue eyes in his club. If you have brown skin you can't be in." My heart sank and then I got angry. Of course I went off on why he was a little jerk and she didn't need to be in his dorky club anyway. Then I regrouped and tried to explain why he was wrong and that she should never, ever do that to anyone. She's actually friends with him now. I know kids will be kids and she could be made fun of for any number of reasons. All kids usually have something they get teased about.
I've had people ask me if I was a nanny or a babysitter when I'm out with my own kids. Once I was out at the park with Scarlett and Jazmine. Scarlett was 5 and Jazmine was a little over a year. A lady came up to me and started telling me how her niece looked just like Jaz and pulled out a picture of her. She was a bi-racial little girl but looked nothing like Jazmine. She proceeded to tell me about how her sister's husband was in jail and then had the nerve to ask me 1)If both my kids had the same daddy and 2) If he was in jail too. I couldn't believe this stranger would assume these things and have the nerve to ask me. Henry, my husband, was actually at home with out newborn son. He was too little to be out in the cold. He is a great dad who can take as much credit for parenting them as I can.
I'm really excited about trying out this whole blogging thing. I hope you'll join us on this journey. I'll be writing about our family adventures, dilemmas, and lots of other fun stuff! Until next time.....
P.S. I think my next topic will be bi-racial hair and what I've learned from Chris Rock.
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