Halloween is my favorite holiday, hands down. I love Christmas and Thanksgiving, but Halloween holds a special place in my heart. Memories of trick-or-treating with my sisters, popcorn balls, and pumpkin carving will forever delight my soul. My kids enjoy it just as much as I did and it fills me with joy to see them so excited to dress up and go out. We are soon to attend a 'Pumpkin Party' of a friend of ours who decks out her house in Halloween decor and plans all sorts of games and other activities for the wee ones.
I have actually had people approach me about letting my kids celebrate a 'Pagan' holiday. Really? Yeah, I've been fully informed on the history and quite frankly I think some people should lighten up. If Pagans came up with a holiday that now brings us family time, laughter, fun, and joy-then I'd like to say thanks for Halloween! It's not like we sit around and try to conjure up demons and pray to the devil on that night.
The main point is, believe whatever you want to believe but don't push it on me or my kids. I feel the same way about people who don't do Santa. I realize you don't agree with it, but at least teach your kids not to come try to spoil it for the kids who can still believe in magic for a few more precious years. While I was sad when I found out about Santa last year(LOL), I still treasure many Christmas Eve's that I laid in bed beaming with anticipation, hearing reindeer hooves and bells. Priceless. I am thankful my parents took the time to give me the gift of imagination. Heck, it would be a lot easier not to do Santa. No hiding presents, writing letters, and getting all the credit for the loot, but where is the magic in that? "You're lying to your kids," someone once said to me. Well, we all do. Telling them the song they wrote is a chart topper, telling them that picture they drew looks just like Daddy, and my favorite "Mommy's not crying, I just got something in my eye." So Santa's in this house to stay, well at least for the next 9 or 10 years! And my beloved Halloween, you'll always be my favorite.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Enter the bit 'C'
Well, it's finally arrived. Actually it arrived back in March. Our family's first encounter with the wretched beast that has wreaked havoc upon countless unexpecting families, cancer. It's one of those things that you know in the back of your mind will happen someday to you or someone you so deeply love. Now it has. My grandpa was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer after he started to have issues. He was not crazy about the idea of a colonoscopy so he never got one. After a lifesaving bowel obstruction removal surgery and weeks of chemo, we wait anxiously to find out the results of his PET scan to see if those poisons he endured accomplished their purpose.
In reality, we were lucky he lived through his surgery. He was literally at death's door at his initial diagnosis. At 74, he's no spring chicken but not ancient either. When we didn't know if he could live for weeks, the idea that he could live a couple more years seemed like an eternity, like great news. Now that he's back on his feet, 2 years seems like 2 years again and as selfish as this is, I want my grandpa longer than that. I float between not allowing myself to think about any of this (ignorance is bliss) and thinking about nothing but this. I don't have an in-between. When we first found out the diagnosis and the prognosis, I was so in shock I had no emotions. While everyone was sobbing, I couldn't cry. While everyone was hugging, I wanted to run out the door and be alone. I don't know how I'll feel when I get the PET scan reports. Good reports mean the cancer is away for now, but we don't know for how long. I've read the cold hard facts and I know in my brain that stage IV cancer doesn't get cured, it gets frozen and at some point it thaws out and returns. That's in my head, my heart sings a different tune. My heart says that no one knows how long their days on this earth are, everyone responds to cancer differently, people have lived for 10 years after a stage IV diagnosis and my grandpa could be one of them. I pray he will be. My head and my heart rarely are in unison, they are usually at war and are apt to disagree.
So....I have decided to be cautiously optimistic of great results and if the results are less than stellar, never give up hope that a change in drugs will do the trick.
What has really hit me in all this, is the same thing that everyone always says, only now I really do it. Enjoy living. Live every day, every moment, every breath and be in those moments. Don't wish your time away at work when you're bored, occupy your mind with sweet memories you haven't queued up in a while. This Earth is a grand place, full of wonder and amazement. Don't believe me? Look in the mirror, cut off the light for 20 seconds, turn it back on and watch your pupils dilate...incredible! All those minuscule muscles working in unison to adjust the hole in your eye to the perfect size to the just the right amount of light in. Simple miracles such as this are too many to count, but strive to count them anyway. Even the most mundane life is insanely exciting if you really stop and think about it. Live in the now and please pray that my grandpa is able to keep doing so for many more years. Thank you!
In reality, we were lucky he lived through his surgery. He was literally at death's door at his initial diagnosis. At 74, he's no spring chicken but not ancient either. When we didn't know if he could live for weeks, the idea that he could live a couple more years seemed like an eternity, like great news. Now that he's back on his feet, 2 years seems like 2 years again and as selfish as this is, I want my grandpa longer than that. I float between not allowing myself to think about any of this (ignorance is bliss) and thinking about nothing but this. I don't have an in-between. When we first found out the diagnosis and the prognosis, I was so in shock I had no emotions. While everyone was sobbing, I couldn't cry. While everyone was hugging, I wanted to run out the door and be alone. I don't know how I'll feel when I get the PET scan reports. Good reports mean the cancer is away for now, but we don't know for how long. I've read the cold hard facts and I know in my brain that stage IV cancer doesn't get cured, it gets frozen and at some point it thaws out and returns. That's in my head, my heart sings a different tune. My heart says that no one knows how long their days on this earth are, everyone responds to cancer differently, people have lived for 10 years after a stage IV diagnosis and my grandpa could be one of them. I pray he will be. My head and my heart rarely are in unison, they are usually at war and are apt to disagree.
So....I have decided to be cautiously optimistic of great results and if the results are less than stellar, never give up hope that a change in drugs will do the trick.
What has really hit me in all this, is the same thing that everyone always says, only now I really do it. Enjoy living. Live every day, every moment, every breath and be in those moments. Don't wish your time away at work when you're bored, occupy your mind with sweet memories you haven't queued up in a while. This Earth is a grand place, full of wonder and amazement. Don't believe me? Look in the mirror, cut off the light for 20 seconds, turn it back on and watch your pupils dilate...incredible! All those minuscule muscles working in unison to adjust the hole in your eye to the perfect size to the just the right amount of light in. Simple miracles such as this are too many to count, but strive to count them anyway. Even the most mundane life is insanely exciting if you really stop and think about it. Live in the now and please pray that my grandpa is able to keep doing so for many more years. Thank you!
The Hair, Oh the Hair!
All three of our babies were born with headfulls of soft, black silky hair. I was thinking, this is going to be easier than combing mine...boy was I wrong! Bi-racial hair, at least in our kids, has a mind of it's own. While it is still soft and gorgeous, the curls are tight and tangley. Nothing seems to keep them in check.
Most bi-racial kids on tv and in the media are often portrayed with big, free, fun fro's- we have learned the hard way that its not a good idea. Combing out their heads after a day of flyin free is a nightmare with much crying, begging, and pleading for me to stop. We keep Scarlett's hair braided up 99% of the time, it has to be a really, REALLY special occasion for it to come down like pictures or...well, that's about it.
A couple of things that I have really found helpful in taking care of their hair are 1)Always conditioning heavily and combing(never brushing) while wet with a big tooth comb and 2)Olive oil products are great, not too greasy or heavy, just enough oil to tame fly aways. I'm not crazy about the olive oil smell but if it works I can live with it. Their products are also natural and they don't irritate their scalps.
Nick's hair is short and will stay relatively so. My hair is naturally curly so the combination of mine and Henry's makes for some serious curls. I love love love their curls and I want to care for them the best way I can. You will Never ever ever ever find me putting in a relaxer/perm/'kiddie' perm etc in any of my babies hair. If you'd like to know why I feel so strongly, watch 'Good Hair'. The chemicals in even the kid versions can eat through a coke can. On a baby's head...no way!
Most bi-racial kids on tv and in the media are often portrayed with big, free, fun fro's- we have learned the hard way that its not a good idea. Combing out their heads after a day of flyin free is a nightmare with much crying, begging, and pleading for me to stop. We keep Scarlett's hair braided up 99% of the time, it has to be a really, REALLY special occasion for it to come down like pictures or...well, that's about it.
A couple of things that I have really found helpful in taking care of their hair are 1)Always conditioning heavily and combing(never brushing) while wet with a big tooth comb and 2)Olive oil products are great, not too greasy or heavy, just enough oil to tame fly aways. I'm not crazy about the olive oil smell but if it works I can live with it. Their products are also natural and they don't irritate their scalps.
Nick's hair is short and will stay relatively so. My hair is naturally curly so the combination of mine and Henry's makes for some serious curls. I love love love their curls and I want to care for them the best way I can. You will Never ever ever ever find me putting in a relaxer/perm/'kiddie' perm etc in any of my babies hair. If you'd like to know why I feel so strongly, watch 'Good Hair'. The chemicals in even the kid versions can eat through a coke can. On a baby's head...no way!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Who Knew?
When my husband and I met, we were both working in retail part time. As we got more acquainted, we became best friends and spent most of our free time together. Over time, a friendship turned into dating and we realized that we were just right for each other. We knew there would be hurdles since we do live in the south and racism is far from gone.
While we are thankful that we didn't fall in love in the 50's, we've had our brushes with the big 'R'. It may be more covert these days, but you can still find it just about everywhere. As our relationship has grown, so has my knowledge of how much racism is still out there and how much improvement we still have to make as a society. Seven years and 3 babies later, I've learned a lot. I've decided to blog my life as a working mom, raising our kids to love and appreciate all people and to do the same for both of the cultures that they are blessed to be a part of.
We have 3 kiddos. Scarlett is my brainy 1st grader. She's very polite and well behaved, bossy too if she gets to know you. Jazmine is my little Taz. She's a ham, always running everywhere she goes. You'll get a workout if you spend any time with her. She's loving and doesn't meet a stranger. On to Nick, my little chunky prince. He's our last baby. He is my little sweetheart, just a cuddly, fluffy, wonderful baby. He has just started walking and it is so darn cute.
When Henry and I first got together, I was very aware of the stares and the dirty looks I got from those who disapprove of inter-racial dating. Believe it or not, no one in public has ever said anything to us. I'm sure we still get those looks, but I can honestly say I don't pay any attention to that. I have concerns about what will be said to the kids, some things already have been said which I'll talk about a little later. Nah, let's just go ahead and talk about it now. When Scarlett was in pre-k, she came home one day saying a little boy told her she was gray. I was a little confused at first until she said, "He told me black and white make gray. But I'm not gray, am I?" She wasn't at all upset, just curious. We used this as a teaching moment about what color she actually is and that she is beautiful. The next school experience was a bit tougher and had me wanting to go find this little boy. She was upset this time. She said, "James won't let me in his club. I really want to be in his club." I asked her why. "He only lets girls with blond hair and blue eyes in his club. If you have brown skin you can't be in." My heart sank and then I got angry. Of course I went off on why he was a little jerk and she didn't need to be in his dorky club anyway. Then I regrouped and tried to explain why he was wrong and that she should never, ever do that to anyone. She's actually friends with him now. I know kids will be kids and she could be made fun of for any number of reasons. All kids usually have something they get teased about.
I've had people ask me if I was a nanny or a babysitter when I'm out with my own kids. Once I was out at the park with Scarlett and Jazmine. Scarlett was 5 and Jazmine was a little over a year. A lady came up to me and started telling me how her niece looked just like Jaz and pulled out a picture of her. She was a bi-racial little girl but looked nothing like Jazmine. She proceeded to tell me about how her sister's husband was in jail and then had the nerve to ask me 1)If both my kids had the same daddy and 2) If he was in jail too. I couldn't believe this stranger would assume these things and have the nerve to ask me. Henry, my husband, was actually at home with out newborn son. He was too little to be out in the cold. He is a great dad who can take as much credit for parenting them as I can.
I'm really excited about trying out this whole blogging thing. I hope you'll join us on this journey. I'll be writing about our family adventures, dilemmas, and lots of other fun stuff! Until next time.....
P.S. I think my next topic will be bi-racial hair and what I've learned from Chris Rock.
While we are thankful that we didn't fall in love in the 50's, we've had our brushes with the big 'R'. It may be more covert these days, but you can still find it just about everywhere. As our relationship has grown, so has my knowledge of how much racism is still out there and how much improvement we still have to make as a society. Seven years and 3 babies later, I've learned a lot. I've decided to blog my life as a working mom, raising our kids to love and appreciate all people and to do the same for both of the cultures that they are blessed to be a part of.
We have 3 kiddos. Scarlett is my brainy 1st grader. She's very polite and well behaved, bossy too if she gets to know you. Jazmine is my little Taz. She's a ham, always running everywhere she goes. You'll get a workout if you spend any time with her. She's loving and doesn't meet a stranger. On to Nick, my little chunky prince. He's our last baby. He is my little sweetheart, just a cuddly, fluffy, wonderful baby. He has just started walking and it is so darn cute.
When Henry and I first got together, I was very aware of the stares and the dirty looks I got from those who disapprove of inter-racial dating. Believe it or not, no one in public has ever said anything to us. I'm sure we still get those looks, but I can honestly say I don't pay any attention to that. I have concerns about what will be said to the kids, some things already have been said which I'll talk about a little later. Nah, let's just go ahead and talk about it now. When Scarlett was in pre-k, she came home one day saying a little boy told her she was gray. I was a little confused at first until she said, "He told me black and white make gray. But I'm not gray, am I?" She wasn't at all upset, just curious. We used this as a teaching moment about what color she actually is and that she is beautiful. The next school experience was a bit tougher and had me wanting to go find this little boy. She was upset this time. She said, "James won't let me in his club. I really want to be in his club." I asked her why. "He only lets girls with blond hair and blue eyes in his club. If you have brown skin you can't be in." My heart sank and then I got angry. Of course I went off on why he was a little jerk and she didn't need to be in his dorky club anyway. Then I regrouped and tried to explain why he was wrong and that she should never, ever do that to anyone. She's actually friends with him now. I know kids will be kids and she could be made fun of for any number of reasons. All kids usually have something they get teased about.
I've had people ask me if I was a nanny or a babysitter when I'm out with my own kids. Once I was out at the park with Scarlett and Jazmine. Scarlett was 5 and Jazmine was a little over a year. A lady came up to me and started telling me how her niece looked just like Jaz and pulled out a picture of her. She was a bi-racial little girl but looked nothing like Jazmine. She proceeded to tell me about how her sister's husband was in jail and then had the nerve to ask me 1)If both my kids had the same daddy and 2) If he was in jail too. I couldn't believe this stranger would assume these things and have the nerve to ask me. Henry, my husband, was actually at home with out newborn son. He was too little to be out in the cold. He is a great dad who can take as much credit for parenting them as I can.
I'm really excited about trying out this whole blogging thing. I hope you'll join us on this journey. I'll be writing about our family adventures, dilemmas, and lots of other fun stuff! Until next time.....
P.S. I think my next topic will be bi-racial hair and what I've learned from Chris Rock.
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