Sunday, April 3, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Never Take Your Faith for Granted!
I am continually amazed by those of strong faith. They have faith just flowing out of them and confidence that everything will be ok and if it's not ok, well then it was God's will and it turned out that way for a reason. My mom is one of these people. Even in the face of the most stressful, scary situation she doesn't worry. She prays and trusts. I view people with unwavering faith in the same way as those who were naturally blessed with gorgeous teeth, an hour glass figure, an always bubbly personality, or a great sense of humor or singing voice. You're lucky!
Let's face it, it's just easier for some people to have faith. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them. I struggle everyday with what I believe and why. My inquiring brain is not satisfied with the answer, 'because the Bible says so.' When I hear that, I just think of more questions. Why the Bible? How do you know it's really Divine (and the answer 'I just know' doesn't help me)? What about all the other ancient texts that are believed to be Divine by millions? How do you know who's right?
I can't help it. Any explanation that I'm given just leads to more questions. At some point I just want to be able to believe without all the proof and be satisfied with it.
Outside of everything else, the biggest proof that God exists to me is the existence of Love. I know Love because I feel it everyday when I look at my husband and babies. I know it's really there because even the thought of something happening to anyone I love brings tears to my eyes. I feel I couldn't live without them. However, I can't see love. I can't put it in a test tube and measure it. I believe in love, so....I believe in God. I don't have all the detail of what exactly I believe but I know this: God is Love and Love is God and I have more faith in that than anything else in the world. I think that's a pretty good start!
Let's face it, it's just easier for some people to have faith. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them. I struggle everyday with what I believe and why. My inquiring brain is not satisfied with the answer, 'because the Bible says so.' When I hear that, I just think of more questions. Why the Bible? How do you know it's really Divine (and the answer 'I just know' doesn't help me)? What about all the other ancient texts that are believed to be Divine by millions? How do you know who's right?
I can't help it. Any explanation that I'm given just leads to more questions. At some point I just want to be able to believe without all the proof and be satisfied with it.
Outside of everything else, the biggest proof that God exists to me is the existence of Love. I know Love because I feel it everyday when I look at my husband and babies. I know it's really there because even the thought of something happening to anyone I love brings tears to my eyes. I feel I couldn't live without them. However, I can't see love. I can't put it in a test tube and measure it. I believe in love, so....I believe in God. I don't have all the detail of what exactly I believe but I know this: God is Love and Love is God and I have more faith in that than anything else in the world. I think that's a pretty good start!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Don't Hate on Halloween
Halloween is my favorite holiday, hands down. I love Christmas and Thanksgiving, but Halloween holds a special place in my heart. Memories of trick-or-treating with my sisters, popcorn balls, and pumpkin carving will forever delight my soul. My kids enjoy it just as much as I did and it fills me with joy to see them so excited to dress up and go out. We are soon to attend a 'Pumpkin Party' of a friend of ours who decks out her house in Halloween decor and plans all sorts of games and other activities for the wee ones.
I have actually had people approach me about letting my kids celebrate a 'Pagan' holiday. Really? Yeah, I've been fully informed on the history and quite frankly I think some people should lighten up. If Pagans came up with a holiday that now brings us family time, laughter, fun, and joy-then I'd like to say thanks for Halloween! It's not like we sit around and try to conjure up demons and pray to the devil on that night.
The main point is, believe whatever you want to believe but don't push it on me or my kids. I feel the same way about people who don't do Santa. I realize you don't agree with it, but at least teach your kids not to come try to spoil it for the kids who can still believe in magic for a few more precious years. While I was sad when I found out about Santa last year(LOL), I still treasure many Christmas Eve's that I laid in bed beaming with anticipation, hearing reindeer hooves and bells. Priceless. I am thankful my parents took the time to give me the gift of imagination. Heck, it would be a lot easier not to do Santa. No hiding presents, writing letters, and getting all the credit for the loot, but where is the magic in that? "You're lying to your kids," someone once said to me. Well, we all do. Telling them the song they wrote is a chart topper, telling them that picture they drew looks just like Daddy, and my favorite "Mommy's not crying, I just got something in my eye." So Santa's in this house to stay, well at least for the next 9 or 10 years! And my beloved Halloween, you'll always be my favorite.
I have actually had people approach me about letting my kids celebrate a 'Pagan' holiday. Really? Yeah, I've been fully informed on the history and quite frankly I think some people should lighten up. If Pagans came up with a holiday that now brings us family time, laughter, fun, and joy-then I'd like to say thanks for Halloween! It's not like we sit around and try to conjure up demons and pray to the devil on that night.
The main point is, believe whatever you want to believe but don't push it on me or my kids. I feel the same way about people who don't do Santa. I realize you don't agree with it, but at least teach your kids not to come try to spoil it for the kids who can still believe in magic for a few more precious years. While I was sad when I found out about Santa last year(LOL), I still treasure many Christmas Eve's that I laid in bed beaming with anticipation, hearing reindeer hooves and bells. Priceless. I am thankful my parents took the time to give me the gift of imagination. Heck, it would be a lot easier not to do Santa. No hiding presents, writing letters, and getting all the credit for the loot, but where is the magic in that? "You're lying to your kids," someone once said to me. Well, we all do. Telling them the song they wrote is a chart topper, telling them that picture they drew looks just like Daddy, and my favorite "Mommy's not crying, I just got something in my eye." So Santa's in this house to stay, well at least for the next 9 or 10 years! And my beloved Halloween, you'll always be my favorite.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Enter the bit 'C'
Well, it's finally arrived. Actually it arrived back in March. Our family's first encounter with the wretched beast that has wreaked havoc upon countless unexpecting families, cancer. It's one of those things that you know in the back of your mind will happen someday to you or someone you so deeply love. Now it has. My grandpa was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer after he started to have issues. He was not crazy about the idea of a colonoscopy so he never got one. After a lifesaving bowel obstruction removal surgery and weeks of chemo, we wait anxiously to find out the results of his PET scan to see if those poisons he endured accomplished their purpose.
In reality, we were lucky he lived through his surgery. He was literally at death's door at his initial diagnosis. At 74, he's no spring chicken but not ancient either. When we didn't know if he could live for weeks, the idea that he could live a couple more years seemed like an eternity, like great news. Now that he's back on his feet, 2 years seems like 2 years again and as selfish as this is, I want my grandpa longer than that. I float between not allowing myself to think about any of this (ignorance is bliss) and thinking about nothing but this. I don't have an in-between. When we first found out the diagnosis and the prognosis, I was so in shock I had no emotions. While everyone was sobbing, I couldn't cry. While everyone was hugging, I wanted to run out the door and be alone. I don't know how I'll feel when I get the PET scan reports. Good reports mean the cancer is away for now, but we don't know for how long. I've read the cold hard facts and I know in my brain that stage IV cancer doesn't get cured, it gets frozen and at some point it thaws out and returns. That's in my head, my heart sings a different tune. My heart says that no one knows how long their days on this earth are, everyone responds to cancer differently, people have lived for 10 years after a stage IV diagnosis and my grandpa could be one of them. I pray he will be. My head and my heart rarely are in unison, they are usually at war and are apt to disagree.
So....I have decided to be cautiously optimistic of great results and if the results are less than stellar, never give up hope that a change in drugs will do the trick.
What has really hit me in all this, is the same thing that everyone always says, only now I really do it. Enjoy living. Live every day, every moment, every breath and be in those moments. Don't wish your time away at work when you're bored, occupy your mind with sweet memories you haven't queued up in a while. This Earth is a grand place, full of wonder and amazement. Don't believe me? Look in the mirror, cut off the light for 20 seconds, turn it back on and watch your pupils dilate...incredible! All those minuscule muscles working in unison to adjust the hole in your eye to the perfect size to the just the right amount of light in. Simple miracles such as this are too many to count, but strive to count them anyway. Even the most mundane life is insanely exciting if you really stop and think about it. Live in the now and please pray that my grandpa is able to keep doing so for many more years. Thank you!
In reality, we were lucky he lived through his surgery. He was literally at death's door at his initial diagnosis. At 74, he's no spring chicken but not ancient either. When we didn't know if he could live for weeks, the idea that he could live a couple more years seemed like an eternity, like great news. Now that he's back on his feet, 2 years seems like 2 years again and as selfish as this is, I want my grandpa longer than that. I float between not allowing myself to think about any of this (ignorance is bliss) and thinking about nothing but this. I don't have an in-between. When we first found out the diagnosis and the prognosis, I was so in shock I had no emotions. While everyone was sobbing, I couldn't cry. While everyone was hugging, I wanted to run out the door and be alone. I don't know how I'll feel when I get the PET scan reports. Good reports mean the cancer is away for now, but we don't know for how long. I've read the cold hard facts and I know in my brain that stage IV cancer doesn't get cured, it gets frozen and at some point it thaws out and returns. That's in my head, my heart sings a different tune. My heart says that no one knows how long their days on this earth are, everyone responds to cancer differently, people have lived for 10 years after a stage IV diagnosis and my grandpa could be one of them. I pray he will be. My head and my heart rarely are in unison, they are usually at war and are apt to disagree.
So....I have decided to be cautiously optimistic of great results and if the results are less than stellar, never give up hope that a change in drugs will do the trick.
What has really hit me in all this, is the same thing that everyone always says, only now I really do it. Enjoy living. Live every day, every moment, every breath and be in those moments. Don't wish your time away at work when you're bored, occupy your mind with sweet memories you haven't queued up in a while. This Earth is a grand place, full of wonder and amazement. Don't believe me? Look in the mirror, cut off the light for 20 seconds, turn it back on and watch your pupils dilate...incredible! All those minuscule muscles working in unison to adjust the hole in your eye to the perfect size to the just the right amount of light in. Simple miracles such as this are too many to count, but strive to count them anyway. Even the most mundane life is insanely exciting if you really stop and think about it. Live in the now and please pray that my grandpa is able to keep doing so for many more years. Thank you!
The Hair, Oh the Hair!
All three of our babies were born with headfulls of soft, black silky hair. I was thinking, this is going to be easier than combing mine...boy was I wrong! Bi-racial hair, at least in our kids, has a mind of it's own. While it is still soft and gorgeous, the curls are tight and tangley. Nothing seems to keep them in check.
Most bi-racial kids on tv and in the media are often portrayed with big, free, fun fro's- we have learned the hard way that its not a good idea. Combing out their heads after a day of flyin free is a nightmare with much crying, begging, and pleading for me to stop. We keep Scarlett's hair braided up 99% of the time, it has to be a really, REALLY special occasion for it to come down like pictures or...well, that's about it.
A couple of things that I have really found helpful in taking care of their hair are 1)Always conditioning heavily and combing(never brushing) while wet with a big tooth comb and 2)Olive oil products are great, not too greasy or heavy, just enough oil to tame fly aways. I'm not crazy about the olive oil smell but if it works I can live with it. Their products are also natural and they don't irritate their scalps.
Nick's hair is short and will stay relatively so. My hair is naturally curly so the combination of mine and Henry's makes for some serious curls. I love love love their curls and I want to care for them the best way I can. You will Never ever ever ever find me putting in a relaxer/perm/'kiddie' perm etc in any of my babies hair. If you'd like to know why I feel so strongly, watch 'Good Hair'. The chemicals in even the kid versions can eat through a coke can. On a baby's head...no way!
Most bi-racial kids on tv and in the media are often portrayed with big, free, fun fro's- we have learned the hard way that its not a good idea. Combing out their heads after a day of flyin free is a nightmare with much crying, begging, and pleading for me to stop. We keep Scarlett's hair braided up 99% of the time, it has to be a really, REALLY special occasion for it to come down like pictures or...well, that's about it.
A couple of things that I have really found helpful in taking care of their hair are 1)Always conditioning heavily and combing(never brushing) while wet with a big tooth comb and 2)Olive oil products are great, not too greasy or heavy, just enough oil to tame fly aways. I'm not crazy about the olive oil smell but if it works I can live with it. Their products are also natural and they don't irritate their scalps.
Nick's hair is short and will stay relatively so. My hair is naturally curly so the combination of mine and Henry's makes for some serious curls. I love love love their curls and I want to care for them the best way I can. You will Never ever ever ever find me putting in a relaxer/perm/'kiddie' perm etc in any of my babies hair. If you'd like to know why I feel so strongly, watch 'Good Hair'. The chemicals in even the kid versions can eat through a coke can. On a baby's head...no way!
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